August 2011
1 post
So many things have changed since I last posted. I can’t even began to describe where my head has been at lately. I hate this feeling. I hate feeling like I’m safe and secure when I know deep down I’m not. I’m my own enemy.. My curiosity kills everything. Maybe I’m just better doing it all by myself.
School is getting ready to start.. I can’t even begin to...
April 2011
2 posts
As I sit here, I imagine the comfort I used to be infatuated withThe love I once soaked within my own skin — Nothing like it used to be.With my eyes closed I can see your face, your eyes, your smile.The memories both good and bad are nothing that I want to see.The emptiness you once left me to remember is nothing but the sound of the beat.Your smell it lingers as it tries to creep,...
Loves Deceit — Big Rube
Pleasure turns to pain Of the lessons learned from strain Of the questionsburned in my brain About whether love is humane in its touch These thoughts are like salmons swimming Upstreamin the tears of your deceit Fighting the currnet hurt that kills more than is created by the chaos of our interwined emotions Chaotic because the anchor of Eros’ arrow has been...
March 2011
1 post
Change
Lately, I’ve realized the standards that I have set for myself. It’s kind of disturbing to me — because I know I’m better. I try to keep my personal feelings/life away from social networking just because drama and rumors stir up but it’s obvious I have very few friends that even care anymore.
I’m twenty and I tend to forget that. I don’t know why I expect...
February 2011
2 posts
IM BACK ;)
It’s been awhile since I posted but I was in the shower yesterday thinking about what I could blog about next. I usually go on this pity party deal but I think Im jus gonna write something simple today. Something most of you do not know about me.
25 Random/Weird things about me:
1. I put my headphones in so people won’t talk to me.
2. I’m scared of the dark, I sleep with the...
Time makes one blind
I’ve had time to sit back and gather my thoughts. In the past few days, I’ve felt anger. I’ve felt sadness. I’ve cried. I’ve basically fell apart. I talked to my mom last night and she told me I need to feel compassion. I need to be at peace with the problem in order to have peace of mind, peace in my soul. It’s ironic to me that I just wrote a blog a week ago...
January 2011
3 posts
Heartbroken, pity party #1.
-“I didn’t wanna hurt you thats why I tried talking to you and telllin you a month ago. I wanted you. I told you when I was trying to talk to you that everything bad you wished upon me happened. Bk I still love and now im stuck because i know i lost u forrreal this time. I literally sat and cried, Imma miss u so much.”-“goodbye”-“Damn bk. Im so sorry and...
“To be honest with you, I don’t have the words to make you feel better, but...”
Love must be let go release
October 1, 2010
The day that I thought was sure to be the end of my life. Three years of my life I had invested into someone else’s life. I wanted to be the one to make that one person better, stronger, happier. We had our moments. We had our laughs. We had our bad times. We had everything together. When he broke up with me, it felt like everything around me was a blur. I sat in the bath...
December 2010
3 posts
In Order
It’s been awhile since I have updated my blog, I’ve been super busy with school. I had a really good conversation with my friend last night about the way my life has been going lately and all that has happened since we last talked. He said to me, “You have to forgive people because if you don’t, it will turn into bitterness and then the bitterness will turn into...
“She loved airports. She loved the smell, she loved the noise, and she loved the...”
A Mess
I’ve struggled to find something to write about for the past week. This will be my fourth post, but I’m actually going to publish this one. A lot of things have been on my mind lately and one thing that really sticks out is how people have been treating me This is probably going to be the ONLY hateful post I write because I’m trying to stray away from all of that, but I’m...
November 2010
5 posts
“Be with someone who knows that they have when they have you”
Thank You
I’ve struggled with trying to find something to talk about today so I decided to write to the people in my life that have been there for me through every struggle I’ve had — little or big. I have people in my life that will drop everything they are doing just to make sure I’m okay. I have people in my life that will check on me if they know I’m having a rough...
“Life changes — embrace the uncertainty. Allow it to lead you to places. Be...”
Rebirth
Rebirth #1. Rebirth #2. I kept telling myself that I was going to “change”. I saw so many imperfections in the person I used to be. eMy actions did not speak louder than my words. As a 19 year old woman, it’s extremely hard to adjust to the obstacles in life. I’ve went from being a wreck to finding out who I truly am. For once, I don’t have to force this feeling of...
Everything Happens For a Reason
I’m at this point in my life where I’ve hit this hard spot. A lot of things have changed quickly in my life and I’m still trying to find my place. It is weird growing up — after having everything done for you, your whole life. I keep holding onto this quote, “Everything Happens For a Reason” simply because I feel like everything fell apart so I could truly find...