It’s been awhile since I have updated my blog, I’ve been super busy with school. I had a really good conversation with my friend last night about the way my life has been going lately and all that has happened since we last talked. He said to me, “You have to forgive people because if you don’t, it will turn into bitterness and then the bitterness will turn into hate.” I don’t think I’ve ever been so dumbfounded. I didn’t know what to say or how to feel. I have walked around with this big wall up for who knows how long because I don’t want or know how to forgive people. In order to be at peace with myself, I need to forgive those who truly hurt me. I see the bigger picture now. I never let anyone get to close to me now, I still try to keep my guard up because I’ve known hurt. I’ve known sadness. I’ve known anger. I’ve known all of these negative emotions and they have shaped the person I have become today. I don’t trust too much of anyone. I stay to myself because it’s safe like that. It’s okay for me to be shut out from the rest of this city so I don’t have to see things that remind me of my past. It’s hard to forgive people who have lied to you, stole from you, been fake to you, broke your heart, etc. I feel like I’ve been through it all and it’s just so hard to let go of everything. I don’t know what I am afraid of? Not forgiving people is just keeping me in the past when I should be living for the future. When I try to find the root of this chaos, I think of one thing. When I think of that one thing, I feel all kinds of emotional. But, when I truly realize where all the bitterness comes from — it’s just because I cannot let go of what has already happened. Having all of this time to myself has been very beneficial. I have realized what my strengths and what my weaknesses are. I believe that everything happens for a reason and I guess to forgive, you have to believe. I believe that there are good hearted people out there that will always be there and have my back. I have to forgive all of the people I once knew too well. I have to forgive the hurt. I have to forgive the sadness. I have to forgive the anger. I mostly have to forgive myself, and I will. I always say, “You just have to keep moving” whenever I talk about something that let me down. That is exactly what I have done, I’ve kept moving. I’ve made new friends. I’ve met AMAZING people. I’m moving. I will continue to. Always.